What is Responsibility Doing to My Personality?

What is responsibility doing to my personality?  Particularly, I wonder what is different about me now because of having the job I've had for the last few years. First, let's acknowledge some truths:

1) Behavioral changes cannot be isolated to one part of our personalities.  That's not how human brains work in  and of themselves, and it's definitely no way to think about what happens when our own changed behavior starts reflecting back different stimuli from the outside world.

2) Wilde's "creeping common sense" from my previous post - if it is a real thing - must be able to be accelerated or decelerated.  I have my suspicions which one of these two are more likely applicable in regard to getting better at a job requiring dynamic responsibilities and decision-making skills.

3) The world - as it really is - is far more unknowable than we are inclined to believe.  Building thematically on ideas propounded by Nassim Taleb, Daniel Kahnemann pointed out recently as a simple thought exercise that there was a one-in-eight chance that we could have had a 20th Century without Hitler, Stalin, and Mao (each could have been born female).  How many similar men did we avoid because they were born female?  Three?  Zero?  Ten?  I guess a statistician would say the most likely answer is three, but that doesn't make it right.

The more difficult question is whether any given behavioral change is something I should want.  Especially as someone who has more money than a desire to spend it.  If I do not want these changes, then my already high opportunity cost to go to work skyrockets.  After all, you can't put a price on your [mental - or spiritual] health.

Perhaps a way to more accurately see the problem the way I do is to view rationality and aesthetics as opposing forces.  But, is that true?  Richard Feynmann said that, as a scientist, he saw more beauty in a flower because he understood the intricacies of its design.  Although I find his argument fascinating, it leaves me confused.  Learning - whether it is something like "education", or what happens when we intuitively grasp an idea - has always sucked my sentiment out of things where it used to exist.  But does it add more to my future than it subtracts from my past?  I have always been sentimental - if it were possible, leave it to me to overvalue the past at the cost of the future.

On the other hand, we have Vonnegut, whom I believe is on the side of Feynmann when he says (I paraphrase, for lack of access to the relevant book):

"How can you tell a good painting when you see one?  Easy - just look at a million, and then you'll know!"
- Bluebeard


Next time, perhaps I can deconstruct this entire post in the context of, "Am I actually getting more responsible?", and while we're at it, "Do I really have a personality worth concerning myself about?"