On Nature

There is a periodic observation that I hear among the realms of mathematics or philosophy, that randomness is no more random than order; that order is no more ordered than randomness, because no randomness is random.  An order suggests an organizing principle, and any we utilize are arbitrary.  I suppose you could say this is the "base case" of subjectivity just after it has splintered away from universality.  We will always see things in our own context.  That is an inescapable effect of having private histories.

It is not impossible to imagine a world where our private histories make all attempts at communication useless. It is not impossible, I would argue, because we are often closer to this than we think.  And while it makes me fearful that I might hurt someone I love, I am thankful that mystery persists in both our thoughts and words.  The alternative creates a logical cascade that turns the world into something fundamentally different than we have, and indeed, the idea of a world without subjectivity may be at least a canard as at most an impossibility, but I digress.

I have learned to think and talk in what is commonly known as a "systems" perspective due to my daily use of such a model at work.  And thankfully, it has not fully invaded my mind and daily patterns of thought.  It is a deterministic nightmare, devoid of any humanity, any spirit.  It is the existence only of rules; of rules until flexibility does not exist, and the name of this state is "optimization".  If ever were one single idea meta-Orwellian, this would be it.  Followed to its extreme, it is the trap that exposes the deterministic world, where human actions are so optimized to make any choice obsolete.  Whatever the world may really be, my heart's desire resides in a land polar opposite.

I look for the world that is mystical; a cipher, a contradiction in terms.

I like best what Borges said about the world, because it speaks to my heart, and yet my mind can find no way to criticize:

We (the indivisible divinity that works in us) have dreamed the world. We have dreamed it resistant, mysterious, visible, ubiquitous in space and firm in time, but we have allowed slight, and eternal, bits of the irrational to form part of its architecture so as to know that it is false."
- Avatars of the Tortoise