Maturity is all about making decisions that are 'correct' even when they are hard. In that sense, I made a mature decision last night, because I got the 'correct' outcome. However, I am twisting the truth quite badly to be able to make that claim. My method of accomplishing this was tragically poor.
I often feel unable to make any difference in the world, even my own. Last night I proved myself wrong by affecting several people, including myself, quite strongly. Step one. Now, I must learn to do so in a moral and responsible way.
There have been times in the past, including quite recently, when I felt a strong desire to make mistakes for their own sake. Blame a fascination with Oscar Wilde:
"Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes."
- Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
Still, I find this one even more appropriate:
"We're just a million little gods causing rainstorms, turning every good thing to rust..."
- The Arcade Fire
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