Thursday, January 8, 2009

Aiming for Survival

"Most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes."

~ Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray"

---------------------------

I suppose it is apt to start with a quote such as the above before discussing what I have done "right" and "wrong" since I have gotten here. Indeed, I believe such trivialities as listing either would be wholly uninteresting, and so I shall avoid them. More important is to acknowledge that any situation that pushes our limits provides not only lessons but inherent and immediate forgiveness for the mistakes we make.

My sleep pattern since arriving has gone from tenuous to backwards to laughable, in roughly equal intervals. My five previous sessions of sleep have been (from most recent to most distant): 6 a.m. to 8 a.m., 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., 4 p.m. to 9 p.m., 5 a.m. to 8 a.m., and 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. My body is running, as it is, off of whatever mental supplements the uncertain nature of my situation are providing. I can rest only when safety is achieved. With some good fortune, may it never come again...

I like the friends I am making and can't look forward enough to what lies ahead - the possibilities for travel make headlines in my mind, but it is almost always the subtler moments, and the transcendent core of situations that won't come again.

No comments: